Sunday, August 20, 2006

Insecurities - 2 conversations

What makes us so possessive ? Why do we feel insecure in our relationships be it friendship or something more ? People can be close to more people then we realize and we don't need to force them to choose.

When things r going great why do we suddenly feel like it could all unravel ? When u should feel on top of the world why do we feel powerless ? There will always be options as ability is really inherent.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Drifting away

Drifting away from most of the world - family, str8 friends, most gay friends - spend most of the time working or with the gang. Its by choice. Is it healthy ? A phone call triggered this post. Got a call out of the blue from a school friend whom I had not met for a decade (he has moved to US ) he found my number from god knows where and after a round of abusing he kept on insisting I tell him why the hell I was not in touch with anyone - all the people who I was so close to it school & in college.

My answer - I cant see much point spending a lot of time with people with whom I cant be myself, and as I am not out to most people it pretty much means the entire world. Everyone seems to be married with one or more kids - the conversation just becomes about them or about work - which I anyway don't like talking too much about. but is that really the case - even people I am out to do I really engage with them.

maybe it is laziness. I just don't get it - I am not asocial per se infact enjoy going out and being with people. Its just phone is not for me as a medium - surprisingly chatting I am cool with and coordinating times to meet is so tedious that meeting becomes a question really of coincidence.

So guys if I have not been in touch - xcuse me - not that I don't care - its just me. Give me a shout and I will always be there for you all.

p.s. Why do I have this blog ? Am a very private person so dont write much. anyways who reads it.