Fingers crossed

Two friends are seeing each other - very happy but also very anxious. Fingers crossed this should work out. They seem happy. One is restrained the other lives life cinema scope. Dread the thought of something going wrong - will be too torn ...

Have decided on a house near Dmonte Park - hopefully this one will work out - Looking forward to seeing it transform into an elegant home with loads of help & advice from K

Have taken a big challenge at work - need to co-opt people who don't report into me do things for me - but I suppose thats part of the fun - involves high stakes

Short update

long time since I blogged. Lots has happened this month. On verge of finally shifting houses hopefully landlord will sign the agreement tom - paying an obscene amount of money, god knows why ?

Been hyper busy at work - feel guilty sometime that I am not spending enough time with all my reportees - but really dont know what to do

I think I need to rebalance my life again - its just been work and some time with the gang - need to spend some more time with batchmates & other friends - seem to be losing perspective
Was on a flight to bangalore - when after a long time I was not tired and free - felt that i need to be a little more in tune with rest of the people - feel Anand wants to ask me to join them for the business venture but he is hesitant - he thinks i am not keen - he wants to discuss it with me but ...- maybe will go for a drink with him tom - everybody seems to be doing interesting stuff

Personal life - zilch is hapenning - been online for short bursts to chat recently - useless & idiotic waste of time - everybody seems to be going on dates but me - one date in the last 15 months

Broken Flowers

Something seemed broken in the movie - a very remote picture - consider the cast Bill Murray, Jessica Lange, Sharon Stone, Frances Conroy ( six feet under Mom) - have very ambivalent feelings about it. Bill Murray did Lost in Translation and now this - liked the other one much more. A critic writes "Murray superbly insinuates to us a man full of feeling who is bemused by his own inability to find a way to let it out." Hugh Grant's About a Boy was similar but had an obviously commercial fairytale ending. The character mellowed and was able to "let it out".

Scary at a different level - there could be lot of us who could end up like this. In the gay context being Don Juan is no big deal but the price to pay is quite steep u end up with a fancy house with your big TVs and the other gizmos but no one to really share it with ....

But the worst off I suppose are people like me who squander their 20s and 30s in studies and work and career and all that jazz and ...

"Lying"
He puts his brush to the canvas,
with one quick stroke
unfolds a bird from the sky.
Steps back, considers.
Takes pity.
Unfolds another.
-- Jane Hirshfield (Nov 1994)