19 things about me

On request by V -
I
1) am really unhappy that I have no real talent - can't sing, play a instrument, draw/ paint, write etc
2) am disappointed in myself that I have not learned a new skill properly for ages despite multiple resolutions- given them all up half way. things to do list - learn swimming properly, driving, a new language (french / spanish)
3) am a good listener - have been called a mother hen
4) have a morbid fear of becoming fat again -though i am almost there :-( need to really really go on a diet after my parents have gone back
5) am very short tempered & prone to mood swings
6) am possessive and get hurt easily
7) am very demanding of people & hyper critical - expect a lot of people and get disappointed when they don't measure up
8) can spend long periods of time alone
9) love traveling - vietnam was the best trip of 2005
10) have lovely long eye lashes (or so I have heard)
11) still haven't completely gotten over my college crush - half my passwords still have his name in them
12) like reading - unfortunately am getting lesser & lesser time to do so
13) would love to direct a movie or start a restaurant/bar some day
14) can't decide whether I am ambitious or want to lead a balanced life - but defi have a big ego and the need to excel
15) am getting increasingly fed up of leading a dual life - would love to come out to the world after I make it big in the corporate world
16) am very self conscious and hate talking to strangers unless it is very task oriented
17) am not witty and am afraid that people think I am very boring
18) would love to learn to dance but am afraid to try as I might really suck at it
19) need to learn how to network better and keep in touch with people more often

An evening at the Shack

K, R & I decided we needed to head out in the evening last night - V decided that he preferred to make papads with his cousins and CT was out dancing with "The Boy" at voodoos.
I picked up K and knowing R can never reach anywhere on time - we asked him to meet us at Totos in 20 - hoping that the 40 odd minutes it takes us will be enough for him for his ten minute ride to Totos. We got there in about 40 mins and R had just left home !! Totos was full and they wouldn't let us in (thank god ! Totos at 10.30 at night - 7 in the evening its fine but late in the evening ?) and as to the external world we had no ladies with us - two other options remained - zenzi & the shack.

We started walking till we reached the crossroads where we needed to turn left for the shack or go str8 for zenzi - and so the practical me suggested we wait at the corner. K almost had a violent reaction and shuddered - "Hukka & Tikka - ppl will think I was there" - he turned and shrieked seeing the Shiv Sagar signage - "OR that I was There- we cannot be seen here". Thank god R rescued us from dilemma as to what would be less CLM (for the ignorant lot career limiting move) for K - to be seen outside Hukka & Tikka or Shiv Sagar.

Then started I don't care you two decide - but I hate any idea suggested by you routine. I was clear my prefrence order was SHACK, Zenzi & ........................ Totos in that order. K atleast on surface seemed truly indifferent. R the drama queen - thought he wasn't dressed for Zenzi and Shack would be too crowded, would play the same music blah blah but then he said the magic words - " I am ok with anything". Spotting a moment of weakness voted for the Shack and we started to drift towards it - all the while R was cribbing and K & I just humoured him ... Finally we reach the shack.

Paid our damages at the door - got the Shack stamp on our hands and sashayed our way in and ordered our drinks. Some call centre kids dancing away, some office crowd, etc etc. we thought the usual people -but we sorely missed the presence of one cutie (a mandatory requirement when u go to the shack !). So we had to do with the specimens present - (a) Str8 guy with a gf/wife desperate to dance slot while he sits with a bored to death expression. He sat there staring at nothing in particular - while she sang along the songs and tried to dance around him. We didn't mind as both R & I thought he was quite cute ( we have to do something about this increasing intersection set between our preferences - this won't do). (b) Dancing diva - a green shirt really tall tipsy man all over the place - quite sweet (c) bunch of drunk college guys - in this case they happened to be from R's college and were perhaps trying to recreate the atmosphere of the college party. Which leads me to wonder hmmm what was happening there - this guys were grinding close to each other etc etc - u get the picture ew ew and all that. It was fun to see R desperately wishing that they disappear . (d) smart ass cool dude - Guy wearing a T shirt - Looking for a Threesome - and he was with another guy & a girl - The guy looked quite gay - led me to wonder what was happening - and when he left for the loo the girl was giving shit to the other guy.

But what was so different about the evening was this one guy - whose idea of dancing seems to be to dry hump the air around him - R & K tolerated his presence - but finally when it got too much - I gave him the traditional elbow treatment. For the uninitiated the elbow treatment is when you position your elbow in a manner which pokes the other person very hard everytime he gets too close. After 5 minutes - he turned and asked "do u want a fight ?" I said " No darling but why dont u keep a 6 inch gap between the two of us " It seemed like escalating - but R & K were pulling my tshirt and his cute friends apologised and took him away. This would have been a first for me a disc brawl.

Anyways the dj's played a lot of different kinds of music - very unlike the shack - announced that they are adding a floor (yipeee !!) - where they will play less loud music (wonder why !!?) - it all got over by 1.15 the dj the tease played - Bluffmaster AB Baby's Come to me song ( the mandatory one hindi number at the shack), followed by a John Denver Jetplane and ended with Lonely lonely ... All in all a fun evening - though i was not a bit high - and we all agreed however much we may grumble about the Shack - it always rocks

P.S. Watched Bali & Shambu a play at Prithvi with my parents. Quite nice. The poignant old age home theme - and regrets of unreconciled differences comoflagued with surface humour.

random thoughts

Went to see Rang de Basanti with the gang. Loved it - very stylish (sometimes it seemed only for the effect and very music video) and very subtle. At intermission K and I had our fingers crossed as we dreaded the thought of it falling flat in the 2nd half. The mood shift was handled really well. Shed tears. Loved the acting by the entire crew - surprisingly even Soha. Sidhharth is so cute and so intense and so ... Thankfully all of us went for one of the crew (R let go of Sidharth for me :-)), V liked Sharman, K liked Kunal and R settled on Atul Kulkarni.

All of us went to the Holiday Inn coffee shop at 2 in the morning - for coffee- ended up having chicken, cheese and tomatoes sandwiches & lots of fries. We are all such gluttons. Reached home around 4.

ChinaGarden - lunch with parents. As usual the food was awesome - despite having an all veg chinese meal !! As I told K there were so many nice looking, stylish young south bombay bois there - sigh ! wonder if I should do the unthinkable and move to south bbay.

Have the chat window open in the background - nobody is buzzing me (other than those irritating bots) and i am busy reading / or writing on blogs. Such is life - i end up chatting only with friends who also happen to be online.

Yesterday work was chaotic though. I just don't know whether i will be able to handle these meetings without getting bugged. The frivolous behaviour - but thankfully it accomplished some of the key objectives. My entire idea of work life balance seems to have gone out of the window with me spending close to 12 hours at work - but anyway who has a life ? Is a date too much to ask for ?

2 theories and some facts

Experiencing a sense of deja vu - have a feeling am going to get caught up again between two friends in their I love you, I love you not plucking petals from a flower game. I am being convinced that noway is it going to happen ... hmmm where have we heard that one before.

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I have a theory (actually very much drawn from empirical evidence) my mean talktime follows a geometric progression- 50% (1 other person); 25% (2 friends); 12.5% ( 3 friends) and so on.... you get the idea I suppose. Hence in evenings like last night - with 8 people in the room ( some of whom are close friends, others are people I would very much to like to get to know better) the expected talktime from me would be virtually insignificant. I like meeting people one on one - don't like talking on phone too much either, apart from to a very small set of people. So people who know me well - know I can talk non-stop or listen attentively for hours - but in groups just tend to be a tad quiet.

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We all went to meet "The Boy" - this incredibly sweet boy CT is seeing for what K & R described as a regressive ritual of "mooh dikhai". Anyway drinks, indifferent music and good natured ribbing - the evening was good fun. We left them to play Twister - watch out for details on talkingclosets.

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Mirror Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all ?

My parents are in town - I am watching Indian Idol !!!!!!

Dates

6 dates in 2 weeks - thats the tally for the young pianist unleashed on the bombay scene. From his first kiss a little more than six months back to this - not bad. But 6 dates w/o getting to first base - reminds me of myself and how I used to scoff when friends told me 4 years back that sex was a necessary lubricant (no pun intended) for gay relationships ! He is sweet, arrogant and idealistic - someone is too verni, others too sedate, others too ... I wish him good luck and hope tonight proves to be different - he has gone a long way for this one.

I realised I haven't been to as many dates in the last 2 years. But P asked me - what about random hookups or party pickups they surely must be more than dates ? I said vehemently NO ! But why did I not meet some of them for a date ? Well it just didn't seem right. And anyways people whom you would like to date - are not interested - so whats a man to do.

3 weeks ...

2006 - a 2 hr walk to herald the new years, almost being crushed in a stampede (ok ok a gross exaggeration) , watching K make a move for the Emran Hashmi lookalike ...

But Goa, new years and friends a heady concoction

The next night with stars above us and at our feet in the middle of nowhere - simply awesome.

Work's been killing -new responsibilities, stretched team and traveling to god forsaken places like Vijaywada. The stopover at Hyd was interesting - did something for the 1st time - unfortunately it ended in a whimper.

Guilty that have not been able to spend time with my uncle who has been in the hospital since 30th - but how do i leave office in the middle of the day?

Parents are coming to bombay on saturday !! Not sure for how long !!

Have half a dozen books in various stages of being read - Venus as a boy, Murakami's South of the border, McEwan's Saturday ; On Beauty by Eco, Kundera's Ignorance and Philip Roth's The Dying Animal.

Finally switched to a healthy option for lunch - its really good - both in terms of variety and taste.